Five Months In

We're coming up of five months since we drove the van out of our driveway heading South for a new life's direction.  I remember reading some quote around the lines of 'wherever you go, there you are.'  I took it to mean that if you're a shitty person at home, you'll still be a shitty person away from home - YOU is always with you.  

I guess to a small extent I can see that your core values travel along in your carry-on, but I don't buy that you are the same person at home.  I love travel because you get to have new thoughts, new sentences, new feelings, and take new actions.  You don't need to follow a pattern just because that's who you are at home, or who people think you are.

Travel kind of breaks you down into newborn babies.  You don't understand what the heck is going on around you, how things work, how to cross the damn street.  Your emotions are kind of raw, and you get to feel them all if you're open to it because you aren't using 8 hours + a day of brain power working for 'the man.'  You have time to feel and reflect.  

And I've been noticing some changes.  It took a couple of months decompression time, but neither of us think of work anymore.  I'm really noticing how we are catching on with the Spanish, Gordon isn't nervous to handle any transaction alone anymore, he can roll with understanding what he understands and get the need across. While I struggle with any tense other than present in Spanish, I feel good that I can understand and speak enough to make it thru most situations.  

I'm no longer nervous to pull into a gas station - previously it would get my heart racing not knowing how the gas station works, do I pump my own, what octane do they have, will they steal my credit information or other scams.  Ha, seems a small thing to notice but it's just a calm quiet comfortable that has overtaken us I guess.  No, not cocky at all, and we will still be on our toes a lot, but just that familiar 'Ahh, I get it' feeling comes a lot sooner now.  

Guess we aren't newborn baby travelers now, but strong blabbing toddlers!

With the freeing of some headspace I can notice a strange pattern happening.  Four times in a row now I've given something, and within minutes, gotten something unexpected in return.

No sooner had we donated extra to support a local wood working shop, did we get invited to a 'free' dinner.  

No sooner did I surprise my sis with a book I thought she would like did an old man at a campsite stop to give 4 oranges and a grapefruit, when he probably hardly had much to his own name.

In another instance, an old Mayan women and I locked eyes and shared huge smiles at a waterpark we stayed at so later I walked over and gave her a little cafecito pick-me-up and not 5 minutes later did the owner of the waterpark give us a tour and take us for free into her lava steam room. 

And just yesterday did I give our campsite host near the El Salvadorian border watermelon did we find 4 mangos gifted to us, just when I was looking for some mangoes earlier in the day and we couldn't find them so had watermelon instead.  

I'll be investigating this gifting paradox...in the meantime I'm so in love with the toothy smiles shared with locals, and that feeling I love from traveling, that the world is generally full of good people.  

I'll also be investigating how I can enjoy a hot lava steam room so damn much, and then when it's a real life hot steam room outside I feel like I could surely perish at any instant?  

We have finally felt that oppressive heat and humidity as we crossed from Guatemala to El Salvador to Honduras to Nicaragua and the weather climbed up to 95-100 degrees with miserable humidity.  I'm starting to have dreams of snow, vanlife in Iceland, and cozying up in blankets by the fire.    

I'm not sure if we'll be able to do Central America in a van without A/C, for us and Gus.  Everything is just a little more raw in vanlife - hot, buggy, steamy, ant-filled, sandy.  But if raw means out of the comfort zone and feeling more well I'm here for that, just maybe turn down the heat a littttttle though please.